Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
