Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
the liver wants what the liver wants
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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