You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
