question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize