Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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