all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
