I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
