Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
They left me at home... I'm a liability
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
