Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
