I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
