So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
