And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
