so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
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