2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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