someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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