drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
