how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
When are your genitals available?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
