Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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