You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
