man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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