I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
