I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Randomize
