She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
