talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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