But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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