Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
