what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
