Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
