I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
