somebody snuck up and got me drunk
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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