I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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