if you like me you must not know who I am
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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