You work out of a Hotel?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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