Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
