Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
