I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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