remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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