well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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