We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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