I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
