Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
