She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
