at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
