Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
So apparently I’m into choking now
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
