You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
