She even gives head with a lisp.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
