guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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