you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize