I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You have to summon your inner elephant
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
you never un-have a 4some
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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