Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
